Kim And Ron's Wedding Gives Readers Diabetes
by Troumvirate
Summary: It's time to celebrate the sweetest and most beloved thing in the entire Kim Possible fandom.  Kim and Ron's wedding.


Kim and Ron were really in love and it turns out they had been their whole lives. Then that one time when they were fighting Drakken at the Bueno Nacho headquarters Ron said "out there in here" and they realized they had feelings for each other. Then after that they were dating. And now they want to get married.

So Kim and Ron were there at a church on their wedding day. It seemed like everyone from Middleton was there and a bunch of people who only appeared in like one episode made cameos. Even all the villains had showed up because I want everyone to know how big a deal this wedding is. The villains and Kim and Ron were able to put their differences aside for this one day to celebrate this one perfect day of true love, the purest love in the history of ever. There will never be a greater pairing in the world than Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable.

People were all seated in the church and Ron looked out at the sea of characters who were attending his special day. He saw Frederick the monkey sitting on his side of the room and didn't care because he was getting married at age 18 to the only girl he had ever had a relationship with who he had only been dating for a few months. But that's okay, he still FELT like he had been dating her all of his life because they had been friends forever. He was sure that this completely new dimension to their lives would not be different or cause them to change or look at each other differently in any way shape or form. He was sure that this wouldn't turn out to be a disaster like if Kim had hidden feelings for Shego or if he suddenly felt the urge to have sex with every female character in the Kim Possible universe. Nope, he only wanted Kim. And Kim only wanted him. And that's how it would be forever. Forever.

Then music started playing and everyone looked back to see Kim being escorted down the aisle by Mr. Dr. Possible. She was wearing white of course, because she was a virgin. She and Ron never had any plot devices that made them have sex prior to this moment. That's because this story appeals to the older, more conservative crowd in the Kim Possible fandom.

Anyway, Kim and James finally made it to where Ron was standing. Kim and Ron faced each other. It turns out that I have decided to make up more of Dr. Drakken's back story and before his turn to villainy he became an ordained priest so he can perform wedding ceremonies. This is a nice way of making the moment feel even more special to the reader by including arguably the third most important Kim Possible character in a significant part of the wedding. It also gives the readers good feelings to see how the love Kim and Ron share for each other can make even the evilest characters nice for even just one day.

So they got to the part where Kim and Ron read their vows to each other, which is usually so sickeningly cheesy and fake that even Hollywood couldn't think of that crap. I don't think I could even do it justice because I don't have what it takes to write that kind of story, aside from this blatant attempt at trolling. So here, I'll just take quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head making fun of Twilight:

"I promise to love you every moment until the end of all time," Ron said. "I will fight for you until your heart stops beating. And then I will still love you. And then I will keep loving you until the end of time."

At that moment someone in the crowd dropped dead. It could be because they were diabetic and were overloaded by the sugary words of Ron, or they killed themselves because of how horrible Ron's vow was. I don't know or care. You as the reader can decide. People like to read into other people's work and come to their own conclusions despite the truth being right there in front of them, right?

But Kim thought that the words Ron had said were the sweetest she had ever heard. Her shiny, large, green, emerald, jade, lime, olive, foresty orbs were glistening with tears of emotion. Kim cries a lot in stories.

"Ron, you have always been there for me. Even though I never considered you to be boyfriend material until your infamous words, even though I dated tons of guys before I finally even considered you, even though when I first thought about you as a boyfriend I was sickened by the very idea and was more concerned with my own social status, I have always loved you. And I will always love you, even when we have twin babies; one boy and one girl. And they will grow up to be world saving teen heroes too and eventually fall in love with Dr. Drakken and Shego's kids. And that will cause all kinds of drama and tension, probably leading to some Romeo and Juliet style story but without all of the death, so there's no real drama involved at all."

Then Drakken pronounced them husband and wife and they kissed. And at that moment world peace was realized. No one could go on fighting over things like land, wealth and creed after witnessing the absolute perfection of Kim and Ron getting married.

Then they danced and a few minor characters commented about how they knew all along, way before Kim and Ron did. Then James made a hilarious callback joke about sending Ron to a black hole, which still caused Ron to worry a bit before they both laughed. And as Rufus was eating cheese he exploded.

The end.


End file.
